oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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