He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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