I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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