my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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