Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize