Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize