you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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