Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize