sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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