Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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