He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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