She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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