What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
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