why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
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I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
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