you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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