He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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