C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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