The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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