Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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