Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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