I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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