Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
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I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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