so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize