i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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