At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize