He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
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He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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