I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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