fuck your aforementioned shoe
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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