Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize