whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize