Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
only if we run a train.
done.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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