he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize