There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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