I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize