watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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