JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize