brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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