hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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