This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize