the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
God, I missed his penis.
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