I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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