she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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