i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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