So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize