is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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