well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
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Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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