remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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