I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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