im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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