Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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